Fish and Visitors Stink in a Hot Attic

A fish, being neither amphibious nor attic-inclined, is not suited for small, dry rooms. A visitor,
being neither a welcome guest nor aware of the attic, should not have found their way to this
tucked away space. It is the middle of July; both have made their way through my front door and
up my stairs.
 
Fish and visitors stink in a hot attic.
 
Despite my pleas, they refuse to leave. The fish doesn’t understand English. The visitor walks to
the end of the room, opens the window, and sits in the old wooden rocking chair. Heat streams in
and I pinch my nose, hoping to avoid the stench of fish and quickly sweating man. It’s a shame the visitor had to drop the fishbowl.
 
Fish and visitors stink in a hot attic.
 
I have experienced this in the past. The following will read like an instruction manual:
 
1.) Find a box of matches or a lighter.
 
2.) Burn the house to a warm heap of ash. Disregard the fish and the visitor. The fish is already
dead. The visitor is a figment of your imagination. So is the house.
 
3.) Carefully rebuild. Take proper precautions to avoid another sad house party. Around my
house, I usually build a moat.